C'mon, ϟ Ḱ Ї И ℵ Y - ℒ Ѻ Ṽ 3
by Nova-Rawr
Summary: An AU Oneshot about what happens when loneliness and insecurities reach their limits. Warnings:: Self-harm and Suicide/Character Death


**A/N:: ****_I will add a proper Author's Note at the end of this, but it may be a better experience to read this whilst listening to Birdy's version of _****'Skinny Love'****_, as it is based off of that cover c:_**

* * *

Tears slipped down a pale face, falling at a steadily growing pace. He felt weak, oh-so alone, and he'd finally let that out. Pain pierced through his mind, starting at his wrist, but it helped in the end. The pain managed to balance out his emotional distress, and the dark crimson colour now starting to slowly drip down his hand helped to distract him from the weight of what he was actually doing.

In fact, he was feeling lighter than he had ever felt before. Like the heavy package on his shoulders was starting to be lifted. Until he felt his shoulder be lightly grabbed. **"Lukas?"**

The Norwegian looked back over his shoulder at the man behind him, not bothering to put his stoic facade back on as he studied the shocked look on his face. And, in the second it took the other to notice the object in his hand and the blood trickling into the sink, his expression morphed into one of pure horror. He roughly grabbed the smaller male to bring him away from the bathroom counter, Lukas screaming at Mathias to let him go, and forced him to drop the razor on the floor. It hit the ground with a metallic _clink!_-spattering droplets to stain the white tiles. He hurried the boy back to the sink then, washing off the re-opened wounds on his wrists and trying to ignore the salty tears dropping down onto his own hands.

He walked over to the bathroom cabinet after this, fishing in one of the drawers for some bandages which he used to fix up the other's wrists. He sat Lukas down on the floor, gently wrapping the cloth around his arms and pressing a couple of loving kisses to each after that. Then he pecked each eyelid, cheek, the Norwegian's lips, nose and his forehead, resting his own against it finally and looking deep into those beautiful indigo eyes. Usually dull and uncaring, now Mathias could see into them. He could see a broken and crumbled spirit, one that hoped and prayed to be relieved of the pain.

**"Why, love?"**

But silence followed. He didn't need an answer, and Lukas knew it.

* * *

**"Why don't you just leave?"** The question was brought up a week later at the dinner table, causing Mathias to look up from his small bowl of _Rødgrød med fløde_ in slight confusion. Lukas was staring intently at his own bowl, using a spoon to stir the berries around in the cream as he continued, **"I-I mean, it's got to be hard on you. It would be easier for you to just leave, f-forget about this and save yourself any pain of putting up with me. So why don't you just go?"** The Norwegian returned the other's gaze when he finished speaking, another question in his look that Mathias only just managed to place.

The Dane simply gave him a warm smile and reached across the table to take the small hand resting on the surface of the wood in his. He ran his thumb over those thin and bony fingers before simply settling to rub it lightly over the back of his hand as they gazed into each others' eyes. He need not say anymore before Lukas got the message of what he was trying to get at.

_'I love you.' _

He adored that about Mathias; when he was convinced he was in love, he was as faithful as a puppy to its master. He wouldn't believe it though, wouldn't let himself. He just couldn't or it would kill him to think of what he could be subjecting the Dane to. He loved the other, loved him with all his heart, but Lukas was afraid.

Afraid of falling and dragging Mathias down with him, afraid of the strong emotions stirred by the other, afraid his love was ultimately unrequited. This is why Lukas wouldn't let his guard down and wouldn't let himself believe that the one he so desperately loved and needed loved him back. No, it would be too hard.

**"You'll have to be patient with me."**

**"I know."**

**"And remember to live your own life."**

**"I will."**

**"And try not to worry too much."**

He felt his hand lifted and the soft rubbing of the thumb replaced for a brief second with the gentle touch of his lips, **"No promises."** At a bright grin directed his way, Lukas felt his cheeks light up with a faint pink tint, knowing full-well how visible it was on his skin. So kind; so caring... One phrase flashed through his mind;_ 'I don't deserve him.'_ But then another followed to answer it;_ 'I don't care.' _

* * *

Mathias had thought he was healing, thought he was getting better. But it turns out he had built up a new veneer to hide that one thing that Mathias hadn't quite realized. That Lukas had been broken beyond repair.

If only he'd known, he would've spent an eternity proving to his boyfriend that he was loved and tried to patch up that wounded heart. But now, it was far too late for that. And, as he watched the coffin be lowered into the ground, the Dane let his own tears slip, remembering how he had awoken to an empty bed, fluttering curtains and an open window. He had spent the day pacing in a hospital waiting room as the doctors fought with fate, his love's life dangling on a thin cotton thread until it had finally been cut with a shrill, monotone beep.

Glancing around only made Mathias' heart split even further, to see how few people had turned up to mourn the loss of Lukas. The young man's brother a couple of steps from his own side-the boy was like a son to him after helping Lukas raise him-Mathias' brother, despite their constant arguing, had found it in him to appear, and the other tall man's Finnish husband.

Three people. Only _three people_ actually cared. He was starting to see why the Norwegian had thought down on himself, but that shouldn't have been good enough reason to do this! He should have at least tried to hold on to the hope their love had given him, but he let go too quickly. Mathias clenched his fists and gritted his teeth, glaring at the grass beneath his feet. Then he felt a small hand on his arm, making him snap his head around to face Emil. And looking at the fifteen year old and his now-sympathetic violet gaze, he let himself fall to the ground and be pulled into a far less comforting embrace, salty droplets falling from the eyes of four people.

He wanted Lukas back. Wanted to kiss him and hold him and tell him everything would be okay...

_'Who am I kidding? Nothing is ever going to be okay anymore..'_

* * *

**A/N::****_ Please tell me how I did on this! Personally, I quite love it, and have an idea for an extra bit to make it into a two-shot because this is just based on roughly half of the lyrics of the song. Please leave a review to tell me anything I could add to make it better!_**

**_Tusen takk~!  
-Nova_**


End file.
